Sweet Mullets: Mullet History

MULLET HISTORY

Greco-Roman civilization looked down on androgynous hairstyles. Men wore their hair short; women wore it long. When the Romans conquered Gaul and Britain, they dispatched barbers to cut the hair of the defeated barbarians. This created a festering hostility in the hearts of the conquered Mullet Heads, who eventually grew their hair back, sacked Rome and ushered in the Dark Ages.

After the fall of Rome in 476 AD, the Church created confusion by requiring monks to shave the top of their heads and weave the cut locks into awful hair shirts. Important men like Charlemagne (742-814 AD) said to hell with this noise and grew their hair as long as they liked, as did the dreaded Visigoths, Vikings and others who held feral sway over this demanding era. Not until the Renaissance did resurrected classical hairstyles replace medieval styles, but while the newly emerging middle class embraced this revival, the ruling classes again clung to the Mullet.

Thus the newfound wealth of nations only produced more elaborate Mullet variants in the elite salons of Europe, and by the seventeenth century, in pre-Revolutionary France, the first example of an entire culture succumbing to pre-Mullet awareness came to the surface. In America, meanwhile, Ben Franklin and Thomas Jefferson wore strict ponytails, mostly out of politeness to the Mullet laden European powers they despised. And with the emergence of close-cropped haircuts like that of Thomas Paine, America declared its independence and the Mullet was almost completely abandoned.

By the early 1800s, the lawlessness of the Wild West and the Native American fondness toward the Mullet led to the extremely modern bi-level worn by Buffalo Bill, as well as other oddities like the coonskin cap. As the twentieth century approached, moppy hairstyles like those of Andrew Jackson and Mark Twain became common along with bushy beards, mutton-chop whiskers and the cookie duster mustaches later worn by Teddy Roosevelt.

Finally, in the mid 1800s, the American hotelier Hiran Ricker busted out what appears to be the first true Mullet. The feathered tresses framing his face, however, were simply an enormous accumulation of whiskers, an effect later popularized by sci-fi author Isaac Asimov.

The origins of today’s modern Mullet are traceable to the point in time where the demise of the hippie era overlapped with the first rumblings of the glam rock/punk revolution.

It is easy to imagine the confusion among men and women. Should it be cut short? Should it be left long? Maybe get a perm like Barbara Streisand and Mac Davis. Maybe just cut a little off the front and take some off the sides. This dilemma only intensified when punk rock finally formalized what glam had only started, a complete rejection of the longhair movement. Quite simply the compromise that arose out of this conflict was the Mullet, pretty much as it is know today. A perfect example is the case of Led Zeppelin. In 1976, after Presence was released, they were still as unashamed in their shagginess as they'd always been. By 1979, however, with the release of In Through The Out Door, the full effect of the punk revolution had showed itself in the band's new wave look. While none of the members were exactly sporting Mullets, even drummer John Bonham had finally agreed to lose the headband, cut his bangs and exchange the ponytail for barely shoulder-length hair. Ironically, he died soon after.

Though it would be another five years before second-generation Zeppelin bands like Rush began sending out a distant early warning to their easily influenced fans, the history of hair and the very nature of the male mind had been drastically altered forever. Beginning with Rush's five-night stand at Radio City Music Hall in September 1983 (where Geddy Lee debuted his Mullet), it was only a hop, skip and a jump to such later '80s phenomena as Red-Rocks era Bono, Keifer Sutherland in The Lost Boys, Mel Gibson in Lethal Weapon, Lou Reed, Richard Marx, The Oakland A's and, the Philadelphia Phillies.

Conceptually, the Mullet is as much a state of mind as it is a haircut. It is possible, therefore, to not have a Mullet but be a Mullet Head, just as it is possible to have a Mullet but not be a Mullet Head. Technically, the Mullet is several haircuts in one, "the best of both worlds," as Roller Derby fanzine puts it. For kids, it's the ultimate Woodstock II do: new wave on top, a bit b-boy on the sides and rock steady in back.

Those adults who wish to party and live life in the fast lane on weekends but be effective workers on weekdays also favor the Mullet. From their nine-to-five, Monday-through Friday work week where the back can be hid in the shirt collar or pony- tailed out of sight and mind, to the Saturday morning tailgater/football game, to the Eagles concert later that night where the hair can be let down, to church and Sunday brunch at the Sizzler, the Mullet Head is never ill at ease. In short, or rather, in both short and long, the Mullet is the only hairstyle that allows the post-modern man to live a full life with his parents' approval.

MULLET HISTORY
Greco-Roman civilization looked down on androgynous hairstyles. Men wore their hair short; women wore it long. When the Romans conquered Gaul and Britain, they dispatched barbers to cut the hair of the defeated barbarians. This created a festering hostility in the hearts of the conquered Mullet Heads, who eventually grew their hair back, sacked Rome and ushered in the Dark Ages. After the fall of Rome in 476 AD, the Church created confusion by requiring monks to shave the top of their heads and weave the cut locks into awful hair shirts. Important men like Charlemagne (742-814 AD) said to hell with this noise and grew their hair as long as they liked, as did the dreaded Visigoths, Vikings and others who held feral sway over this demanding era. Not until the Renaissance did resurrected classical hairstyles replace medieval styles, but while the newly emerging middle class embraced this revival, the ruling classes again clung to the Mullet. Thus the newfound wealth of nations only produced more elaborate Mullet variants in the elite salons of Europe, and by the seventeenth century, in pre-Revolutionary France, the first example of an entire culture succumbing to pre-Mullet awareness came to the surface. In America, meanwhile, Ben Franklin and Thomas Jefferson wore strict ponytails, mostly out of politeness to the Mullet laden European powers they despised. And with the emergence of close-cropped haircuts like that of Thomas Paine, America declared its independence and the Mullet was almost completely abandoned. By the early 1800s, the lawlessness of the Wild West and the Native American fondness toward the Mullet led to the extremely modern bi-level worn by Buffalo Bill, as well as other oddities like the coonskin cap. As the twentieth century approached, moppy hairstyles like those of Andrew Jackson and Mark Twain became common along with bushy beards, mutton-chop whiskers and the cookie duster mustaches later worn by Teddy Roosevelt. Finally, in the mid 1800s, the American hotelier Hiran Ricker busted out what appears to be the first true Mullet. The feathered tresses framing his face, however, were simply an enormous accumulation of whiskers, an effect later popularized by sci-fi author Isaac Asimov. The origins of today’s modern Mullet are traceable to the point in time where the demise of the hippie era overlapped with the first rumblings of the glam rock/punk revolution. It is easy to imagine the confusion among men and women. Should it be cut short? Should it be left long? Maybe get a perm like Barbara Streisand and Mac Davis. Maybe just cut a little off the front and take some off the sides. This dilemma only intensified when punk rock finally formalized what glam had only started, a complete rejection of the longhair movement. Quite simply the compromise that arose out of this conflict was the Mullet, pretty much as it is know today. A perfect example is the case of Led Zeppelin. In 1976, after Presence was released, they were still as unashamed in their shagginess as they'd always been. By 1979, however, with the release of In Through The Out Door, the full effect of the punk revolution had showed itself in the band's new wave look. While none of the members were exactly sporting Mullets, even drummer John Bonham had finally agreed to lose the headband, cut his bangs and exchange the ponytail for barely shoulder-length hair. Ironically, he died soon after. Though it would be another five years before second-generation Zeppelin bands like Rush began sending out a distant early warning to their easily influenced fans, the history of hair and the very nature of the male mind had been drastically altered forever. Beginning with Rush's five-night stand at Radio City Music Hall in September 1983 (where Geddy Lee debuted his Mullet), it was only a hop, skip and a jump to such later '80s phenomena as Red-Rocks era Bono, Keifer Sutherland in The Lost Boys, Mel Gibson in Lethal Weapon, Lou Reed, Richard Marx, The Oakland A's and, the Philadelphia Phillies. Conceptually, the Mullet is as much a state of mind as it is a haircut. It is possible, therefore, to not have a Mullet but be a Mullet Head, just as it is possible to have a Mullet but not be a Mullet Head. Technically, the Mullet is several haircuts in one, "the best of both worlds," as Roller Derby fanzine puts it. For kids, it's the ultimate Woodstock II do: new wave on top, a bit b-boy on the sides and rock steady in back. Those adults who wish to party and live life in the fast lane on weekends but be effective workers on weekdays also favor the Mullet. From their nine-to-five, Monday-through Friday work week where the back can be hid in the shirt collar or pony- tailed out of sight and mind, to the Saturday morning tailgater/football game, to the Eagles concert later that night where the hair can be let down, to church and Sunday brunch at the Sizzler, the Mullet Head is never ill at ease. In short, or rather, in both short and long, the Mullet is the only hairstyle that allows the post-modern man to live a full life with his parents' approval.